How Long Will This Last?

How many days alone can you 
spend in your one bedroom
600 square feet all to myself 
and I am,
lonely as the moon

So where do I go from here? 
nowhere.
“Wait it out, it will pass”, 
but the
person I was is starting to fade so
how long will this last? 

The lemon trees are blooming
the birds are getting in tune and I forgot
how well this city wears the rain 

I carry it home every evening,
but none of it holds any meaning 
cause what’s the point of a beautiful day
when you’ve got no one to give it to? 

How long will this last? 
How long will this last? 
How long will this last? 

I carry it home every evening,
but none of it holds any meaning 

How long will this last? 
How long will this last? 

Dark Side of the Moon

Had to leave home for home,
packed my car up gave my key to neighbors 
hope they keep my plants alive 

Then I drove 4 states east 
and every car along the ride
was also on their own Odyssey

Florida to Tampa 
Oregon to Bend -
license plates like name tags in reverse migration

Every mile closer to the dark side of the moon -
I don’t know what’s coming, do any of you? 

But last night, I think I met my mom
and this afternoon I met my sister
and this morning,
I finally met my dad while he was outside, 
just picking up dog shit 

Oh despite everything else, 
I think I met myself 

Having to re-invent 
the way I measure time now 
cause ‘days and hours’ feel like a past life 
Tryna learn new manners 
like how to greet a stranger on the street with 
nothing but your eyes 

Texas to Houston 
New York to the City - 
I know you’re getting slammed, but you’ll walk again

Every mile closer to the dark side of the moon 
I don’t know what’s coming
I just wanna hold you soon 

Oh last night,
I met the Milky Way as it was shivering outside of my window 
and this morning
I finally met the birds, 
cause there’s nothing else to do but watch them 

Oh despite everything else,
I think I met myself 

A few months ago,
I though the world was ending it was 
burning all the work we’d just begun...

but then through mornings without traffic 
through horizons without smog, 
I could see that wasn’t fire, no 
that was just the dawn 

The Big Timeout

When the weatherman said there’d be some rain
so you thought you had all the answers,
but then a flood appears 
and the only thing it leaves behind 
are more questions 

Well it’s been 6 months in The Big Timeout
summer came and went on without us 
and when you’re left alone in your mind that long
it hurts
like staring 
at the sun 

My neighbor started selling rolls of toilet paper by the dollar
jobs are falling faster than the towers in September 
           
  while the flowers outside
                are blooming so nice 

If there any was any kind of god,
now would be the perfect time
to show up! 
or am I just 
singing to no one…? 

I used to be an extrovert but something has been taken
in the season of the blood disease,
we’re all just kind of waiting

and the hospitals are packed and now they’re out-of-stock of coffins

while the White House is blood stained 
and Bezos says “let ‘em eat cake” 

If this was movie, 
I would walk out 
If this was a story, 
I would doubt 
the person who told me, 
I’d say “you’re just drunk”
“Nah, don’t get me started… I lived through it all” 

If this was movie, 
I would walk out 
If this was a story, 
I would doubt 
the person who told me, 
I’d say “you’re just drunk”
“Nah, don’t get me started… I lived through it all” 

150 Horsepower 

You became a regular 
at Death’s doorstep
Yeah, you got away a few times,
but he took you in the end

150 horsepower - 
you were the biggest pain in my ass,
but you ticked on a different clock 
not knowing how long you would last 

A fire went out
when you blew away,
but your mom and I were laughing 
about how you brought the rain 

I gotta long way to go
before I learn to run like you 

Cause time slips away
At the end of every day 
I’m still waiting in the wings
overthinking things…

I forgot to tell you 
not to tell our friends!
and then I missed your funeral because of 
fucking covid 

A fire went out 
when you blew away,
but your dad and I were dancing
on Abby’s wedding day

I gotta long way to go
before I learn to run like you

Oh, but time slips away
at the end of every day 

and I’m made of space 
that I’m too afraid to take

just waiting in the wings 
overthinking things
I’m watching hell unfreeze 
while overthinking things…

Here and Now 
There’s only Here and Now 

The Great Family Waltz

She ran away after a fight with her mother
how they hated each other
how they hated each other

She was a teen,
youngest of 4 baby Marines
She was choking on the 50s 
caught her breath with the hippies

She followed them 
found God on a farm
and his name was Arnold
and they took off…

But you only knew the side of the brother 
how they hated each other
how they hated each other

He was the third son,
freckled and afraid
and he lived by the book
cause the book was safe

He was between becoming a doctor and priest -
oh but God didn’t want him
so he had me…

And then there was the third born 
cousin on the farm
she was told God was gunna kill ‘em
so He could take ‘em up there with him

She ran away after a fight with her mother
how they hated each other
how they hated each other

Then there was the baby,
youngest of them all
freckled and afraid
almost 2 meters tall

She ran away after a fight with herself
she said “if I don’t change,
I’ll be just like them!” 

So the cousins ran unaware of each other 
they ran all around the world
‘till they ran into the other

They held each others’ pain 
while finishing the puzzle
of a family broken
by a broken mother

While the siblings 
white haired and bald
only speak through Christmas Cards
hiding behind their Body Gods 

Loneliness 

Loneliness, loneliness
are you sick with loneliness? 

Rabid dog barking hate like a monster,
possessed and afraid 
of 

Loneliness, loneliness 
are you sick with loneliness? 

Me too, me too

Go ahead, you can cry if you got to, 
you know I don’t mind 

It’s not your fault, no your not to blame, there are 
systems pulling us apart 
making profit off our hearts 
making profit off of breaking our hearts 
off our 

Loneliness, loneliness 
are you sick with loneliness? 

Me too, me too

But we are not spiders on a window sill
Just waiting on delivery meals 
I’m tired of being sold convenience
All that it’s done is get between us
I’m tired of being made to believe this,
I’m tired of buying that we need all of this shit! 

It’s breaking our home and it’s breaking us,
all this 
loneliness, loneliness

The Storm Doesn’t Care

You’re giving me all of your pain,
when I did my best to take all yours away 
Yeah, I cleaned our room 
I took me out of you

So you could start fresh on your own,
but in no time at all you brought her to the home 
that we built from scratch -  
the plates and the paints and the curtains to match 

But the storm doesn’t care
if you are inside of it 
rain doesn’t feel you when it’s coming down,
no, the flame doesn’t mourn 
the thing that it burns 
and you don’t really care 
how bad you are hurting me 

Now that I’m out on my own,
my brain turned back on and 
I’m happy alone 
while you hid, 
and played with a heart
just to distract you from sadness, no
come on, be strong 

Cause the storm doesn’t care
if you are inside of it 
rain doesn’t feel you when it’s coming down, 
no, the flame doesn’t mourn 
the thing that it burns 
and you can’t ignore 
how bad you are hurting

Dream Thief 

Well I broke down on your brownstone stoop 
I cried until the sky went from black back to blue 
I’ve been bumming for a month now 
running from the truth, or something 

I’d give anything to not go back
With any kind of luck this plane would crash 
Except nobody would die 
We’d just get scared and re-evaluate our time 

Cause I’ve been living 
Someone else’s dream life 
I’ve been having 
Someone else’s good times 

Yeah I buried what I wanted 
In a city that was haunted by 
Someone else’s dream life 

As a kid I hid inside a song
Bullied til I’s blue
I had everything to prove 
Then those songs sailed me away, 
But when I looked up I was in the fast lane 
Headed straight for 

Someone else’s dream life 
Taking someone else’s spot light 
Yeah I buried what I wanted 
In a city that was haunted by 
Someone else’s dream life 

~instrumental dream~ 

This morning, when I woke up
For some reason I checked my email 
And the first thing that I see is 
How my credit score has dropped
From pretty good to 319…

Well maybe the fuckers who stole my identity, 
We’re just like each other 
Cause I’ve been stealing 

Someone else’s dream life 
I’ve been having someone else’s good times 
I buried what I wanted in a 
city that was haunted 
and if all you want is numbers 
well I hate to be a bummer 
That’s just someone else’s dream life 
That’s just someone else’s dream life 
That’s just someone else’s life

Lost! (Death Cult) 

Well the day came early
We were wide awake, you had a call at 8:00
with the unknown
(on the telephone)

Then The Fear, it just, hit me 
I thought every doubt had already been wrung out,
but then I swear to god, I left my body!
It’s amazing how the mind can pull you down, says:

“You will be lost without this, lost!” 

UGH! 
It’s like a death cult I’m leaving 
they say, “outside of this, oh no you don’t exist”
and then a blazing rainbow sunset, sky wide says,
“Are you sure you want to 
        leave all this behind? 
                    You will be lost without us, 
                                lost!” 

It was a quiet morning
cause our asshole neighbor
with the Harley Davidson moved…
(Good luck to you)

Now the day can break
gently
Now the birds don’t scatter every time that engine 
roars through the valley,
you know
what I’d give to wake up slowly in your arms
there’s nothing else on this small planet that I want
you brought me back into the world I’ve always loved

I would be lost without you, lost!